Deep gratitude

ISTA festival of Israel. International School of Temple Arts. I just came out of there, a few days ago… amazing!

I was invited there by one of the organizers who was facilitating in Ängsbacka Tantra festival in Sweden this summer, an immediately agreed to come!
I was crazy excited, and longing for it for all this time up until I came to Israel. Singe beginning of August I have been sick in bronchitis, which also triggered sinusitis and inflammation of the vocal cords. While in Israel I went to the doctor, and found out I had already damaged a bit of my lungs and was in the danger zone. With a bunch of medicine it got better, but not fully well, bringing me also a lot of side effects.
I got prescription for new medicines, but decided I won’t take them so they will not interfere with ISTA festival.

So I arrive at the festival, still quite sick (and disgusting haha), immediately diving deep with a burlesque dance workshop! It went AMAZING, judging by other peoples reaction and comments such as “best start to the festival”, “so much fun, you’re such an exciting, personal and good teacher” and “It made me open up and appreciate my body more” really made me warm and happy inside.

Later that evening and the next day I really didn’t do much… was feeling too sick to do anything but go to lectures or talk to people, but it’s not so “but”, I really met some magical intelligent people!! Just amazing, everyone you meet in these gatherings…
Friday I had my Kama Sutra workshop. Waking up early for a photoshoot and feeling still blah, but standing posing with a blocked nose in the desert was still amazing.
Kama Sutra workshop went… so good. Soooo good!.
​Not only did I get good feedback (hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging here, no?) from the people in the workshop on the spot, but it felt very good for me, I had an amazing assistant (got one last minute before class, faith, ha!), and also people who walked up to me outside of the workshop until the end of the festival, saying how much fun it was and how much they gained from it, physically and emotionally.
It was so beautiful to see, and to receive such love and gratitude really did a lot! Thank you, so so much for this opportunity to share my work!!

So, later that day I wanted to go to another workshop, but instead was sharing with a medicine man from USA, and … I just cracked.
I started to share all sorts of things, from now recently and from earlier, everything just pouring out of me like a river (of snot)! I cried, sneezed, cried a bit more in different ways, talked, and cried again…
Over an hour of sharing, and the conclusion... I need to ask for help. For my soul, my feelings, my body, I can do it all on my own but outside support is needed.

And I started to ask for help.

So after all this text I want to express my gratitude.
Gratitude for my amazing life, and all the opportunities it brings! How CRAZY is it that I travel to facilitate workshops halfway across the world?! WOW! I am so lucky, but I’ve worked for it, so, I really am grateful.

Grateful for Big River who let me pour out all my emotional crap. Grateful for Maor who gave me herbal medicine, for the musician who stayed in the same room as me and the medicine he gave, for the herbal pills another facilitator gave me and just for all the support, love and appreciation I received.
It made the rest of that day so heavy, but the next day was magical.
I had healed, so quickly!

Not fully, I still had a bit of a sore throat (still do), but I could breathe fully, no cough, no congestion… I was FREE!!! Finally, after three months of disease I felt loads better than I had all this time, I was so happy I could cry! And I did cry from joy, a little bit.
Just feeling all the love and care from people in combination with all the herbal magic has finally set me free!

The festival ended beautifully, with my bellydance workshop in the morning, many hugs and new friends and contacts, invitations and appreciations, wise words and stories, and again, I am so thankful to be invited to facilitate at such an amazing event and be part of this huge community/family/whatever of beautiful people.

And now, writing this sitting in a restaurant in Dahab in Egypt (I took a short trip, was already close by, why not… it’s warm and cheap, walla!), I have to express gratitude for myself.
Life does not simply happen, I make it happen.

And I have been so strong to endure many hardships of what life throws at me, of work, relationships, unfortunate events, we have to give ourselves love and credit for that.

The moon is beautiful reflecting in the Red Sea, and it feels like I will cry again from joy.
Thank you for the love, we all really need human connection, don’t forget it.

We all need love, appreciation and safe space to be vulnerable.
Thank you for accepting my vulnerability.

We all need help sometimes.

Love and dance <3
//Gypsy Queen