A few days ago my roommate started talking to me about a friend of his. He wanted to become a director and actor, but in his own way, and because of that he has been on and off procrastinating for years, never actually taking the chance to do something. He had studied for many years (things he loved of course) to never get a job he dislikes, but also, to find excuses or keep oneself from trying.
I told my roommate my opinion – that if his friend had really tried, then he would have been what he wanted by now, or at least getting there! He had many years to reach for it, and when we want something, as many of our decisions as possible should be towards that.
My roommate disagreed.
He said that he does not believe that everyone can, or that most people even should do what they love for a living! For example he himself loves chemistry, but he would never make a career out of it because he’d get sick of it.
He then proceeded to telling me about his brother, who had his whole life (since teenage years) loved programming, writing codes, computer stuff and lord knows what… for a few years now, he worked with exactly that.
But now, he was unhappy. What he once passionately strived for has now become a routine, he didn’t want to talk about it, as if he had fallen out of love.
This can be compared to that we don’t need to marry or be in a longterm relationshop someone we love.
We can... but, would you really have it that way, because this is something you require?!
I’ve read A LOT about love and relationships, specifically about what makes a relationship last, preferably for the rest of ones life.
And most of the people married for years and years in these studies, said that (one of many things) love will come and go. Some days you will love your partner like crazy, others you won’t be able to even be near them, and then after a few days or even months it goes back up again. It all depends on environment, food, how we feel and how our partner feels. And essentially – life is not all a candy rainbow, it cannot all just be UPS and peaks constantly. It has to go down.
But eventually, naturally, it will come up again, because you will find the beauty in life again, or you will fix your problem, or you’ll go on vacation, or just go out in the woods and spend some time alone throwing rocks. Whatever it is, it will most likely be alright. Unless, of course, it is a problem you cannot look past.
Also, these people in long relationships stated that you have to be accepting of your partner changing, and of yourself changing too. These relationships have sustained the storms of changing religions, political views, and even gender in a few cases. But the mutual respect for the partner and understanding that “you do your thing” eventually brings them back together, and does not prevent them from sharing a life. Maybe they’ll even join them! Who knows?
So while this is all interesting, now look at this from the perspective of a dream job. A goal. A passion!
Same as with a relationship, your job is a choice. Some may say that "you must have a job there is no other way!!" but when really thinking about it, if you don't want to have a "job" there are ways to avoid it. And especially WHAT you do, is a choice.
You job and relationship is something you should think about and/or do (hihi) almost every day. Your job and relationship will have it's problems, it's ups and downs, but essentially it is something you want to sustain because it makes you happy, and, let's admit, is often for many of us nessecary for a fulfilled life. We need closeness as from a relationship or close friendship, and something to occupy ourselves with during the days that can give us material or skills to sustain us through life.
Even if you live in a hippy community, you still give each other warmth and support (it is what you need to feel good, even science says so) and exchange skills and things, while the countries with least cultural closeness and increasing amounts of work, is topping the scales of suicide statistics.
Would you rather be doing what you love, and perhaps dislike or get sick of it at times, but still love it, - or do something you just like (or hate) and get sick quicker and be miserable?
If you lose the love – try and find what made you love it in the first place.
Or find something else.
But in my opinion, always do what makes you most happy.
As long as you know yourself well enough.
What do you think?
Love and light to you all <3
Ever since coming back from India (holy crap, already 4 weeks ago!!) I have been working, or doing stuff.
When I came back to Stockholm after a very long delayed flight and 3 hours of sleep I got one day of rest, and directly threw myself into finding a place to live.
I found a place, I did a gig, I moved all my stuff, then I flew to England (again with 3 hours of sleep, total) to directly start working on this circus project.
It was crazy fun, we made up some awesome stuff and I’m really excited! I really wanted to write some more about that but didn’t get the time to publish (and then it was too late and then I got occupied…) because I missed my flight home and had to book another, AGAIN 3 hours of sleep and coming to Stockholm the next day, DIRECTLY to rehearsals and then directly to teaching job.
Next day same, every day same and then parents house on the weekend packing stuff blabla….
Oh yes, I work at the city theatre (Stadsteatern) here now, as a dancer in a play :D It’s superduperawesome!! Check it out:
Due to my very optimistic nature, and being all up in “fullpower creative mode” I didn’t even think about rest. Also I thought “wow good on me, after India I’ve been to 2 cold countries and still I’m not sick!”
Well, I jinxed it. My body forced me to rest, and TADAAAA I am sick! Sore throat, congested nose, and just about enough energy to move my fingers or make tea. My body completely forced me into less productive mode.
And now, I have to “rest”.
All rest is really just more work, and I think I forgot how to rest when being in the western world…. How do you rest??
My resting activities are usually (when staying indoors) cooking, doing administrative work, writing, reading up on my Indian Medicine knowledge or watching makeup tutorials on YouTube to be prepared for upcoming gigs.
But truly, nothing of this is really rest… right?
I have a huge to-do list, and I am a freelance artist, who’s got time for sleep anyway that’s so boring bllllllaargh!
Either way; this system makes me super productive, and doing all these things make me really happy because I love doing stuff and new stuff and learning!
But, I cannot wait to get out to nature when the weather gets better, and just be…
Don’t think - become.
Until then, I just have to rest.
When I was a kid, I (much like now) didn't care for rules.
Our family was friends with a circus family, and because of this I just assumed all circus people were open minded! Once circus Brazil Jack was touring through Östersund in Sweden, and after the show I just climbed under the ropes and visited in the caravans where all the artists lived.
Ever since then I wanted to do circus, and combining the sports I've done, theater and dance, my dream is now alive!
Not only did I want to do circus (which my parents thought was too unserious in Sweden, in comparison to Russia at least! So they won't let me do it) I also wanted to live the true circus life in a caravan.
Now I am here in Newbury, England, living in a caravan for the whole week, and creating a circus show to perform next fall with incredibly talented people!!
Theme of the show is travel, and it's coming up great. We have our own musician composing music FOR what we are doing, and there's lots of research going on.
I am incredibly happy, and life doesn't stop att your childhood dream, there's more and more and others things and new dreams, creations and WOW life is just incredible :D
Love and light to you all <3
Greetings dear reader! What a lovely morning ain't it darling?
Well I spent the night at Stockholm Skavsta Airaport to go to London superduperearly in the morning. Barley got to spend any time in Stockholm and now it's time to go again, Woop! I am so excited :D
And also, I am cold. Really frikkin' cold. Coming from India where everything is body temperature, to SNOW?!?!? God no. But I keep the creativity burning inside, writing songs and creating choreographies, and it keeps me warm up until my wrists and knees at least.
I found a place to live in Stockholm also, phuh... and quickly, too! Life goes up and down but it all flows just as it should.
Going for a residency now in Newbury, to create a show together with lots of awesome artists, and hopefully progress with it further on!
We shall see what happens - I'm just really excited to work with new people, train and create beautiful things. And oh, I'll be living in a van!!
Lucky me I spend the last week in India with an English guy, learned to say "herbs" properly and it'll be easier to mimic the English accent ;)
Have a great day everyone! Big big hugs <3
.... and, you know,
all the other things that would interest you if you're a fan, if you like my writing, or if you are a pontential employer/client for whom it is important to know if I am a republican or if I eat bacon every day.Fortunately for you, I am/do neither. Bacon is not healthy.