A few days ago my roommate started talking to me about a friend of his. He wanted to become a director and actor, but in his own way, and because of that he has been on and off procrastinating for years, never actually taking the chance to do something. He had studied for many years (things he loved of course) to never get a job he dislikes, but also, to find excuses or keep oneself from trying.
I told my roommate my opinion – that if his friend had really tried, then he would have been what he wanted by now, or at least getting there! He had many years to reach for it, and when we want something, as many of our decisions as possible should be towards that.
My roommate disagreed.
He said that he does not believe that everyone can, or that most people even should do what they love for a living! For example he himself loves chemistry, but he would never make a career out of it because he’d get sick of it.
He then proceeded to telling me about his brother, who had his whole life (since teenage years) loved programming, writing codes, computer stuff and lord knows what… for a few years now, he worked with exactly that.
But now, he was unhappy. What he once passionately strived for has now become a routine, he didn’t want to talk about it, as if he had fallen out of love.
This can be compared to that we don’t need to marry or be in a longterm relationshop someone we love.
We can... but, would you really have it that way, because this is something you require?!
I’ve read A LOT about love and relationships, specifically about what makes a relationship last, preferably for the rest of ones life.
And most of the people married for years and years in these studies, said that (one of many things) love will come and go. Some days you will love your partner like crazy, others you won’t be able to even be near them, and then after a few days or even months it goes back up again. It all depends on environment, food, how we feel and how our partner feels. And essentially – life is not all a candy rainbow, it cannot all just be UPS and peaks constantly. It has to go down.
But eventually, naturally, it will come up again, because you will find the beauty in life again, or you will fix your problem, or you’ll go on vacation, or just go out in the woods and spend some time alone throwing rocks. Whatever it is, it will most likely be alright. Unless, of course, it is a problem you cannot look past.
Also, these people in long relationships stated that you have to be accepting of your partner changing, and of yourself changing too. These relationships have sustained the storms of changing religions, political views, and even gender in a few cases. But the mutual respect for the partner and understanding that “you do your thing” eventually brings them back together, and does not prevent them from sharing a life. Maybe they’ll even join them! Who knows?
So while this is all interesting, now look at this from the perspective of a dream job. A goal. A passion!
Same as with a relationship, your job is a choice. Some may say that "you must have a job there is no other way!!" but when really thinking about it, if you don't want to have a "job" there are ways to avoid it. And especially WHAT you do, is a choice.
You job and relationship is something you should think about and/or do (hihi) almost every day. Your job and relationship will have it's problems, it's ups and downs, but essentially it is something you want to sustain because it makes you happy, and, let's admit, is often for many of us nessecary for a fulfilled life. We need closeness as from a relationship or close friendship, and something to occupy ourselves with during the days that can give us material or skills to sustain us through life.
Even if you live in a hippy community, you still give each other warmth and support (it is what you need to feel good, even science says so) and exchange skills and things, while the countries with least cultural closeness and increasing amounts of work, is topping the scales of suicide statistics.
Would you rather be doing what you love, and perhaps dislike or get sick of it at times, but still love it, - or do something you just like (or hate) and get sick quicker and be miserable?
If you lose the love – try and find what made you love it in the first place.
Or find something else.
But in my opinion, always do what makes you most happy.
As long as you know yourself well enough.
What do you think?
Love and light to you all <3
.... and, you know,
all the other things that would interest you if you're a fan, if you like my writing, or if you are a pontential employer/client for whom it is important to know if I am a republican or if I eat bacon every day.Fortunately for you, I am/do neither. Bacon is not healthy.