Living in Scandinavia most part of my life (besides the months spent travelling, haha), I've always despised the oncoming darkness.
For those who don't know, here in Sweden at this latitude (Stockholm) there's around... 6,5 hours of daylight at this moment.
Every year it starts getting darker, and every time I've felt depressed. Super unmotivated, everything sucked, didn't really want to do much, and if I did I was in grief all the time, over.. well, everything.
A lack of sunlight, or vitamin D, can show symptoms like:
- Increased risk or symptoms of clinical depression
- For men especially, it increases risk of heard disease.
- It's been linked to certain cancers, psychological issues and dementia.
- It lowers the immune system, and oh don't forget those harmful artificial screen lights!
- Then there's back pain, joint and muscle pain, hair loss, bone loss, anxiety, fatigue and weight gain...
- Ooh, and also - using sunscreen and sunglasses inhibits vitamin D uptake. So there's worse consequences from not enough sun then too much.
But last year I went out of the country, filling myself up with sun, I was in a beautiful relationship, and I broke the SAD pattern.
Today, it's even better!
I haven't felt affected by the darkness at all this year, in fact, I think I like it!
Living on a quiet island has provided a sanctuary for me and my emotions, and the darkness is embracing me like a blanket.. I do miss the sunshine, and I'm longing for it, but not complaining about the dark same way as I used to. It feels safe, real, and like it's supposed to be this way; it's okay to go into the shadows once in a while, and winter is a time of reflection, shadow work, and self love, for comfort, soft touch, and warm food.
Life naturally slows down, and I grieve that our society prevents us from following our natural rhythm, expecting us to be on top at all times.
Luckily, we don't have to follow the rules of society!
Love and Dance
I've always loved these huge majestic animals, went horseback riding when I was younger, drew them all the time, but life had it so I would not afford or live close enough to hang out with them often enough.
Two weeks ago a friend of mine invited me to travel 4 h south to ride, and have a photo-shoot, and of course I had to say yes!
Instantly I felt a deep connection with them, walking in the field, the animals gathering round and expressing curiosity..
There is such a thing as horse therapy (equine therapy), where psych-patients get to interact with horses in different ways, to develop self control, self confidence, accountability, responsibility etc.
Some of the other benefits are:
Emotional awareness, empathy, flexibility, stress tolerance, impulse control, social responsibility, self regard and independence.
Later we saddled the horses and went to take pictures on them; as soon as I got in the saddle
After the photo-shoot we got to go for a ride, both me and the horse super restless and happy.
When I got him to gallop I felt an amazing feeling, almost like seeing a loved one after a long time from each other, or going on vacation after many weeks of hard work!!
I started laughing from joy, smiling and couldn't hold back, holding on with my thighs as hard as possible because the horse got as excited as I, galloping faster
The two days after I could barley walk from muscle pain in my legs, hahahaha ..
Then horses have appeared in my dreams and mind, this Saturday I get to ride again, and today one appeared in a drum journey we did in class.
In shamanic and other cultures horses symbolize power and freedom, sexuality, nobility, wilderness, motivation to carry you through anything, trusting relationships, and cooperating with people but without losing ones individuality.
Horse medicine helps you balance current responsibilities and close relationships with your desire for independence, and to feel the gratitude in our hearts.
With its help, you can overcome any difficult situation.
Enjoy your appetite for life, freedom of expression and full life force!
Go hang out with horses, even if you're afraid
of them I'm sure it will do you good
Love and dance
Here's a drawing I made when I was.. 16, I think.
In these last 12 months a lot has happened, but one of the more unusual things; I've become more active on social media, yaaay!
Or, at least I do my best, since I know how important it is to make an artist career happen (unfortunately ?)... right?
So, let's check out some of the videos I posted on YouTube from my performances!
I they're right below, with a short explanation to each.
This is also a good way to see my work, if you're considering having me at your event!
And OH; if you want to see more from me regularly, click the button below:
I'm seriously proud of this one; first stage show with Russian Gypsy dance!
Just a short improvisation after training, but I found it to be quite good and useful!
Also improvised, last minute show in India when my friend (the singer) wrote "Are you free tonight? We need a bellydancer!"
So I came!
Contortion/dance choreography performed at Copenhagen Tantra Festival (this was actually more than a year ago, but I didn't get the video until spring, haha).
First good-ish video of me doing rope-dart!
This summer I taught workshops and performed for the 4th time at Forest Star festival in Sweden, this time with Vibrasphere playing their set in the background....
It was absolutley beautiful, late at night, and so incredibly cold.
Hope you've enjoyed my work!
Love and dance
Since this is my blog and I'm supposed to tell you about my life, I feel to tell about all kinds of natural healing, because it's such a big part of my life.
Last night the ice covered the lake our the island I live at, a thin layer of a couple centimeters.
So like every Monday, the good wood fired sauna by the lake is open, and I go down there with a bucket of tea and essential oils.
But this time it's different, with the ice the water is even colder, and the air..! ❄️ First time out the sauna I RAN down the bridge towards the railing, slipping on the ice and my feet sticking to the frost covered planks.
Down the ladder, IN the water, UP and ran back... I felt silly.
So after warming up again, the next time I walked calmly down... Calmly went into the water... Breathe in... Breathe out... Stood on the lower step of the ladder, washing my face and ears, while holing on with one hand.
Took a piece of ice and put it on my next, with a moan of relaxation I felt my shoulders drop down and mind going silent..
And the third round the same, but even slower pace.
Adding to that some magnesium body butter, I had such a good night's sleep.
Some of the benefits with alternate/cold water:
- Increases metabolism up to 3 times.
- shrinks pores and increases skin elasticity, helping combat ageing (inside and outside), wrinkles, acne, skin issues and dandruff.
- Increases circulation, relaxes muscles and stimulates immune system, relieves muscle stiffness and soreness, even rheumatoid arthritis!
- Lightens the mood; it relieves feelings of sadness, depression, increases adrenaline and endorphins, relieves pain, increases heart rate
- increases the body's production of cortisol!
makes you more durable, healthier, and alive.
Have a beautiful day, and a cold shower!
Love and dance
Sunset at 3 pm!
And the ice is starting to cover the lake around the school...
While living off grid on an island has been exactly what I needed at this moment (past 3 months) studying, it has also been challenging.
Emotions are way more visible in this quiet calm environment, there's time and space for reflection, self care, making awesome natural medicine, but with my passionate spirit senses a lack of adventure!
So, what to do?
I make my own adventure, by hitchhiking to the train station from the country side, in the dark. (sun sets very early this time of year)
While I feel my body slowing down, preparing for calm of winter in this biting cold, this year I've learned to appreciate the darkness.
It embraces me, shows me how to direct my energy inwards and sustain, while still doing awesome stuff.
Thank you winter ❄️✨
I welcome you. 💖
(Except my nose... My nose is very cold 😒)
I love to go on deep dives within myself and others... I love to explore the subconscious, to understand how things are appearing.. other people's realities, to dig up drama from my teenage years and use those feelings in performances..
I have come to really appreciate the stillness and silence within me. This vibe that comes off me sometimes, the feeling like I can't be still, it's mostly positive but within that there's the shadows also.
What happens if I stop moving and just.. land in my power? Be still, and allow everything to come? What will people think of me?
And even; what will people think after reading this text? I thought this was a performance page.. haha.
If we constantly move the music of our lives won't be as interesting, as the change in tempo, tone and key. It's not just the notes that make it music, it's not the steps that make a dance, it's the tempo, and distance in between them.
And in this distance I feel... I really love the things I do, and they come out of me as an expression of passion! Not of fear, or out of reaction to my past.
And through that reminder I can tap into my life energy fully again, remembering my passion, my creativity, my calling!
What does your stillness tell you, if you really listen within?
Oh, and this photo is with no filter. Amazing huh?
The photo is from a gig in Uppsala a couple weeks ago!
I just felt for this photo so badly; it's so raw, real, and... weird, hahaha!
I'm not sure if you're all curious what happens backstage when I am (or anyone else in the dance and circus world) are performing, so let me fill you in!
It's always fun to share intimate, vulnerable parts of life, and the emotions that fill you when you have a nice backstage is indeed one of those WOW moments in life that just make you burst with joy!
I know many of us performers out there really want to express our needs and wants, but don't really dare to, because if we have a shitty attitude we won't get hired anymore (even if we do our job amazingly).
So here I am, to say what I think and be honest about it!
What usually happens backstage?
Well; gossip, undressing, some much needed instagramming, helping each other get dressed, pin stuff or makeup advice. Sometimes there's spontaneous dances, friends that come with us backstage to talk or take "backstage photos", stretching, warming up and, occasional nervousness.
One has to focus, finish makeup and make sure it's flawless, take photos for promotion, binge-drink coffee or other thing that gives you that EXTRA energy
You're probably wondering; Ronyah, what do you (or other performers) NEED backstage?
The necessary things for comfort (indoors of course, outdoors there's almost no hope, haha) would be:
Thing is, when performers are already required to be everything for ourselves, makeup, make costumes, train, promotion, the last thing one wants to do is to bring a bunch of stuff to make backstage livable.
So, what's luxury, and will make us LOVE you and want us to do our job even better?
(Of course when one is performing outside, these conditions don't really apply)
So if you're planning to have an event with performers, please do think over how you can make it comfortable for us, and make us love you and brag about your forever!
But seriously, as long as there's good light and it's warm, we'll be fine.
Just let us know in advance.
I just felt the need to share this, and a few more insane photos from the gig in Uppsala from which I have the photo above!
By the way, that gig had candy, big mirror with good lighting, electricity, and some very awesome people.
Love and light,
So perhaps I haven't written this here, but I've started studying Western Natural medicine.
With all the fascinating things we do in Natural Medicine school, one of these was to go out and connect with a plant.
At first I felt it was silly, even though I have done it as a child...
I took my basket, and went out to pick some rose petals and apples to make jam and other stuff. I figured, if I connect with something on the way, I'll go for it.
After filling the basket, I moved on to a tree a bit further off...
One with beautiful apples, so red they feel SEXY! With so much life, love and power in them..!
I felt so drawn to this tree, as I picked it's apples, smelling, stroking and experiencing them fully.
Following my intuition I climbed up in the tree and sat down on the wet stem.
The moss felt so soft and familiar, like a pet, sheep's wool, or something.. oh.
I started talking to her, saying hello, and then it all just came pouring out. My grief, emotions, questions, everything! And it felt like she answered me, supported me in her presence, I saw images arise in my mind and answers came to me, as well as rivers down my face..
I stroked the soft moss on the trunk to comfort myself, wiping off the tears and continuing to stroke her, as I felt the silence and peace fill my mind.
I sat there for a while, meditating, feeling into everything, and then decided it's time to go.
I thanked her for supporting me, and the strongest wind yet swept through the branches, letting me know I was on the right path <3
Now I have made lots of magical remedies and foods from this tree, she and I have a special relationship <3
If you have the time; go for a walk, let your intuition guide you to a plant, tree, stone or place, and see what happens.
You might just experience magic <3
Love and dance
Ooh, I was recently in a music video!
The finished product will be out in a couple weeks, but there's this awesome rock band in Stockholm and I'm the "dramatic dancing girl" in their upcoming video.
The cover photo above is actually taken during filming!
Photos: Gustavo Martins
Video: Nordic Star Production
So here's some photos and links to info about it:
Love and dance
So many things are easy to take for granted.
Work, relationships, good health; if all is going fine, we stop paying attention to it. We don't give it what it deserves, and without care it can wither...
Muscles get tense, someone else comes ahead of you in work, your partner feels unsupported, suddenly your stomach is upset for no reason or you can't fall asleep...
Make sure to take the time to give the important areas in your life some attention. Don't just prioritize some things over others for a long time and expect the rest to keep up somehow!
Take care of yourself, your goals and dreams, and of your loved ones.
And sometimes, go out to suffer in a pair of high heels just to feel fabulous ;)
Love and dance,
.... and, you know,
all the other things that would interest you if you're a fan, if you like my writing, or if you are a pontential employer/client for whom it is important to know if I am a republican or if I eat bacon every day.Fortunately for you, I am/do neither. Bacon is not healthy.