I've been away for a while, haven't I ....
My apologies. Again.
I thought it would be easier now to focus and write stuff, because I truly love writing! But in between all the jobs and gigs I've had in Stockholm the past six weeks I've been making costumes, emailing, or just travelling from thing to thing for hours.. Or catching up on my sleep, haha.
I need to be honest, and hopefully my honesty won't cost me anything, because there is strength in vunerability also, right?
I have been very ill.
After Ängsbacka Tantra Festival I got a strong fever, because of all the probing in my psyche and all the germs going around, haha. I was coughing and had a sore throat, all phlegmy and gross.
I got better after a couple of days and went on working at Forest Star Festival, still with sore throat and cough.
Moving on to rainy Netherlands and Psy-Fi festival, still coughing.
It got better after three days rest in Belgium, but then continued in Paris.. and London.. and wors again when I got back to Stockholm and work now.
I've been teaching circus to kids, performing at private events and nightclubs, making stuff, doing computer work, being super active and all the things I love!!
While being really sick.
And at times it got better, when I was resting for only two days and fasting a bit I was almost well (thanks to a special someone).
It turns out - had I only had one (1) week of bed rest and tea, I would be well and fully alive!
But I never gave myself that, and in addition didn't let myself sleep enough.
So now I have sinus inflammation, and chronic asthmatic bronchitis.
And I'm sitting here, in this beautiful top floor apartment in Tel-Aviv, Israel, and suffering from all the weird side effets of modern medicine.
It was nessecary, because I have no time to treat myself naturally, and I had already done severe damage to my lungs because of not enough sleep and proper food while stressing about not being enough.
Now I'm suffering from anxiety, indegestion, stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, swollen body, dry mouth, and the other side effects the pills and stuffs are giving me besides the symptoms I already have.
But I'm no longer choking from cough, hurray!
So even if you are an entrepreneur and constantly working, (seriously, everything is work) we all must rest sometimes.
It's not nessecarily how much I've worked, but the poor structure and the not saying NO to some things to have several days in a row off, to get well, that drove me to this.
Trust your body, listen to it, so you won't have to take weird pills and inhalors.
Please take care of yourself!
Because I am, and soon I will be back with new life and energy.
I'm almost well now, only a couple days left.
I deserve to be well.
Love and dance <3
.... and, you know,
all the other things that would interest you if you're a fan, if you like my writing, or if you are a pontential employer/client for whom it is important to know if I am a republican or if I eat bacon every day.Fortunately for you, I am/do neither. Bacon is not healthy.