The flower is now on my prop shelf, in the theatre I work at.
I was on a date a few days ago. Super nice guy, very “good on paper” in my book, and one of the very few who actually collected his courage enough to ask for my number during a performance. I don’t get asked out a lot when I perform, guess “normal” guys are intimidated or something… anyway;
This was our second date, and the first one had gone well, I really liked him. This time we just went up to a mountain with a view over the city, to drink juice and talk. After an hour or so, he pulls out a huuuuge red rose that he carried in his backpack (why didn’t he give it to me when we met? I had been staring at it for quite some time, haha), and gave it to me.
I was very happy, and a bit surprised because I had started to think it was not meant for me.
Until he felt the need to explain himself…
He said (in Swedish) “Well there’s a backstory to this rose, so you don’t think I’m some crazy stalker!”
“Ooookayyy… why would I think you’re a crazy stalker?” I answered, rattled.
“Well, you know…. Um, no, forget it!”
“No no! If you’ve had some bad experience with giving women flowers, I’d like to know! Sounds like an interesting story” I replied.
“Well, my friend just had surgery for thyroid cancer, so me and my friends are going to surprise her! I bought ten roses, and figured I’d give you one so she has the other nine!”
Then the guy proceeded, cautiously, explaining something about his friends intensive dating because “the biological clock is ticking”, and that everything is different nowadays in the era of online dating and Tinder, so eventually to sum up I understood that – he was afraid that because people flirt so badly nowadays, or so little, or have so few romantic gestures, that I would immediately think this was SUPER HUGE and that he was madly in love with me.
I explained to him that I have Russian heritage, and where I come from it’s basically common curtesy to bring the woman flowers or hold the door open.
And after all – if he saw that I was happy about the rose and not at all cautious or worried, that must mean it all went well and he should just leave it be?!
Either he’s quite insecure because of society’s indoctrination of manners nowadays, or just can’t read me. Or both.
But this makes me terribly worried!
I mean – does this mean every time I meet a nice guy that “early on” gives me flowers, he is crazy and fell in love too quickly?! Or, will I never get flowers? Is romance dying? How far can I go with my affection before it’s “too far”?
This raises a whole new discussion; will people have even bigger fear of intimacy, will everyone be constantly unhappy because fairytales are still the same but nobody is even remotely close to even petting a white horse, and dear lord, flirtation must be so dead that people mistake politeness for flirtation..?!
What do you think?
And please, if you see me performing, I’d love flowers :D !
.... and, you know,
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